First Night Box Office Smash for Lincsquad TT!

Welcome to the first Lincsquad TT report of 2019 where every day is now Wednesday, today is yesterday, tomorrow is today, yesterday is tomorrow and I don’t even know what the rest of the week is!  Kings and Queens of the TT scene, seldom seen and very mean, let’s all eat some jelly beans, while brushing up our TT terminology with this aide memoir.

Hold our High Energy Drinks  Bear Grylls, 37 racers faced all of these criterion tonight at Lincsquad’s TT, on the 10^th April on the LQ10/2.  It was a cool (Baltic) 8 degrees, bright evening with ENE winds of 13mph with 19mph gusts.  Before we get into the report bit, have you ever pondered just how long the word TT in Time trials is? Moreover the bamboozling fact that TT is TT spelt backwards?  Other factual information I have considered during the winter months is that the world’s fastest animals are the Pronghorn (55mph); the cheetah (68mph); the Pelgrine Falcon (242mph) and the post poop victory kitten who can hit speeds of 1,647mph coming out of its litter tray.  These may be fast, however the real fastest animals were racing on the LQ10/2 tonight!  The results of these speedy animals, starting with the female of the species will follow, while Jon will extrapolate and convey data from the men’s results later in the report.  By the powers of the great mystical feathered kangaroo let’s see who have been lazy lumps, eating trash, spending way too much time climbing trees and who has raced like a giant hairy meatsack of pure rage and adrenaline!

Twinkle  twinkle, Camilla Morgan (Lincsquad)was our leading lady star on the night.  Each rider was unique on the night, just like everyone else.  Some folks claim that no one ever remembers those who finish in positions other than first, well hey, we do! The lady who finished second was Jennifer Worsley  (Lincsquad).  Releasing her anger on this TT course, Vikki Wilson (Lincsquad) completes the podium tonight.  Congrats ladies all very well earned tonight in those conditions.  Was the TT a real leg breaker for Emma Watts of 53Eleven?  It didn’t show as she cruised comfortably into 4^th place.  Fiona Fisk and Lincsquad’s TT sec battled bravely into respectable 5^th and 6^th places.    No one looked as fresh as Catherine Smart of Lincsquad on her amazing Pink Race Machine, while the acceleration of Chris Kirkby off that start line was akin to watching an X-Wing fighter attacking the Death Star.  Leigh Quinn gave the girls a demonstration of pure power.  While full of beans,  Rachel Brothwell’s smile as she rode her new racer lifted our hearts and gave us all that warm feeling that riding a new bike gives.  Congrats to all the ladies, we sure showed the men how to race!

*** puff……pant…….hands over the commentary baton to Jon.  You will enjoy his report, he’s a bit like I used to be, however more athletic, funny and better looking…****

As it was the first TT of the season let’s take a minute to travel back in time and revisit the first ever TT in the world, universe, solar system, galaxy. Towards the end of the 19^th Century us cyclists were banned from racing on open roads, which seems a little ironic as there must have been all of 20 motor cars being driven across the entire UK at that time. To try and circumnavigate this imposition underground TT events were organised, resulting in a format that we can loosely recognise today. Rebel TTers would sneak around the countryside using secret codes to identify courses to be ridden at set times, usually at dawn, setting off at 1 minute intervals, so as to duck under the radar and evade police attention. Furthermore these rebel riders would dress in black from neck to ankle to make them more difficult to be seen. To trick any observant bystanders the riders didn’t wear numbers, making them seem even less like they were racing. ‘So when was the first official TT?’ I hear you ask. Quite frankly I haven’t a clue. Lots of clubs lay claim to it but I don’t have a DeLorean so I can’t check. But I do know 2 things ……….

1: Thank goodness these rebel pioneers persevered to shape the TT scene as we know it today,

2: Double thank goodness we don’t run the TT Series in the same way that they did in the 19^th Century (but it could be an idea for a novelty round later in the year).

Some things have remained the same; we still take pride in using the LQ10/2 code name for our course and set off at 1 minute intervals. However, we don’t have to sneak around at dawn, we can pitch up to the pub at teatime and socialise before and after (and maybe during if you get waylaid at the Red Lion in Redbourne). We take pride in wearing garish colours in an attempt to show other road users that we are sharing the highway with them. Most importantly, for our timekeepers, we get to wear numbers to identify who we are. Imagine being a Victorian timekeeper ………

‘Who is the next rider?’

‘Not sure, it’s the chap dressed in black from neck to ankle’

‘You said that last time’

‘I know, sorry’

‘Shall we sack this off and go for breakfast?’

So, to the results! Exactly who was our Archibald Primrose on the night? Will he be looking over his shoulder to check on the proximity of Robert Gascoyne-Cecil? Well, blimey Charlie, if tonight’s results are anything to go by we are in for a ding dong season this year! Top of the pile for the gents was Steve Grocock, back to reclaim the crown that was wrestled away from him last year? A mere 2 seconds behind him was Sheehan Quirke, if only he hadn’t posed for a photo from Steve Cannings on the railway crossing on each occasion things might have been different. Rounding off the podium was Ben  Creasey, showing some early season form. I make that a Lincsquad 1,2,3. Well done chaps! Top visitor was Jon Dixon (4^th) from Grimsby Tri, with Kev Wilson and Chris Ware only a handful of seconds behind him.

In order to add some semblance to our ramblings we have enlisted the help of a TT guru to pass on some insight in to the world of solitary pedalling against the clock. Whilst his identity is a closely guarded secret there are rumours a plenty around the paddock. Some say that he was the man who designed Greg LeMond’s cockpit that helped win him the 1989 Tour de France by 8 seconds. Conjecture or fact, who knows? What we do know is he’s called The Baron, and here he is …………”As a custodian of all that is TT, I feel it is our duty to above all else uphold the integrity of our sport.  For you, me, my kids….their X Box Avatars.  With this in mind I urge all TTers to consult the oracle that is “The Rules”.  Matching kit, neatly trimmed facial hair, correctly routed and neat cable runs, correct sock length were all noted as at an all time below par tonight.  For one evening a week, we can elevate orselves from mere superhuman Quadrathaletes to almost deity levels.  Lincsquadders, above all, you must look good.”.

Thanks Baron, looking forward to your future philosophies. So, TT race over, Pam and Jon came charging over the finish line and with legs exploded, Pam encouraged the young Lincsquadders to blow the horn to signal the magnificent drawing of the raffle.  There was silence as the bike horn blew and the draw began.  An alligator wandered unnoticed through the hushed crowd with his bucket and spade and piñata searching anxiously for gooey icecream.   The crowd were dazzled as Cathy Walsh’s smile lit the paddock like a shooting star.….Fair comment that Cathy was pleased to win this week’s prize, a café lock for the bike kindly donated by Tony England, congrats Cathy.

People asked me tonight what Jon and I do in winter when there are no TTs.  I’ll tell you what we do.  We stare out of the window and wait for spring!  In my role as TT sec, I spend some time replying to emails specifically about TTing.  This is an example of such an email from A. None- Mouse just last week.

Keep the TT emails coming, Jon and I will attempt to answer one per report over the 2019 TT series.

Thanks to all our volunteers who helped make the race possible tonight.  Special mention to Rob, Cathy, Jess, Anna, Emma and Wayne.  Behind the scenes these volunteers work so hard to make the TTs a safe race for us all.  Cheers all.   Also thanks to our marshalls Stuart Grocock, Stephen Cannings, Katie Scutt and Darren Scutt.   Tonight at the TT we had a great squad of racers on paper, it was unfortunate for some of us that the race took place on tarmac.  This year if you want a chance at winning a series trophy, the one thing you will need is consistent consistency.  In the words of Vince Lombardi..” Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” See you all in a fortnight.

Thanks for taking the time to read the report, if you like what you have read or would like to get in touch, drop us a message we would love to hear from you.

Ciao ciao ciao

Pam and Jon