TT report Round 6

TT report round 6

TT Racing:  It’s more fun than being slapped round the face with a wet kipper

Give your tail feathers a shake, tonight’s Lincsquad LQ10/2 round 6 TT report is brought to you by me, Pam.  With Jon continuing with his time-keeping apprenticeship I’ve got my hands back on the reins of the report this week, bad luck JC, you snooze you lose!  Weather conditions were fair, it was cloudy and WSW wind speeds of 6mph with air temp of 18 degrees. 35 riders signed on the dotted line to race. The venue was the King William IV pub.  The route, as always, from King Billy’s front door to Redbourne roundabout and back to The King Billy.  Unfortunately a bug kept me housebound tonight so I had to make do with “The Obree Way training manual for cyclists” and Muse.  Thanks to Jon for stepping into the breach and holding the fort at TT HQ, the TT team for continued ongoing excellent work and to Emma Riby for “speedy dialling” me tonight’s results so I could get cracking with the report.  Every pedal you turned, every PB you broke……Emma was watching………

Speaking of King William IV, recently I got chatting to a man who, coincidentally, personally knew King William IV!  What are the chances of that? Apparently, this King Billy fella was pure gas and was the maddest fella to ever sit on the British Throne.  His life was filled with risk taking, debauchery and he had an anti-authoritarian streak that he carried with him right to the throne.  Did you know that King Billy was almost kidnapped?  History states that George Washington approved this; however “my confidante” hinted that there were a couple of cheeky chaps (no not Ant and Dec)……called Blackadder and Baldrick who were instrumental to this kidnap attempt.  There follows an abbreviated version of the actual transcript of how the kidnap was thwarted……

***Blackadder:  “I just don’t understand it.  Where on earth did they find a man so utterly without heart and soul, so low and degraded as to accept the job of beheading the King of England? Baldrick?  That little job that fell into your lap?  It wasn’t, by any chance, something to do with an axe, a basket, a little black mask and the King of England?”

Baldrick:  “No”

Blackadder:  “Go on”

Baldrick:  “I couldn’t find a basket……..”

Baldrick:  “here is my fist.  Kindly run towards it as fast as you can”…..****

Fortunately for the future King William IV, the British caught wind of the kidnap and made sure they assigned guards to protect him at all times.  As he survived, he was made King!  First thing that he did as King was to attempt to give away Buckingham Palace! Next, a (what I am putting down to a midlife crisis) followed…..he “acquired” a squadron of ships and took them on a 10 day bender….. err joyride…..party…..whatever, an out of office jolly on the sea!!!  His spoilsport of a brother on hearing about this, asked him to resign!  In my opinion if any of us had a fleet of boats at our beck and call, wouldn’t we all set sail to the setting sun with special refreshment in hand?   Sad times came in 1813 when King William was shot. Bang.  At the top of a church steeple he took a bullet to his coat….. Well to be fair if he hadn’t been on that roof, he wouldn’t have been shot….should have listened to his mam and got down.

Time to say goodbye to the King, and move on to Mr Graeme Obree.  In his training book, Graeme talks about careful preparation being vital to a successful time trial.  He asks the racer to think of the air as a sticky soup through which it is necessary to propel themselves forward.  Every effort should be made to reduce frontal air resistance (within the rules of the sport).  He concludes that the fundamental truth about time trials is that they are not won by going fast, but by not going slow. Here are the results of round 6, it’s a hotpot of fast and not so slow results!

Tonight’s winner for the men was Stuart Wells from Lindsey Roads in a time of 20:31 Have you ever wondered what a normal person can do in the same amount of time?  Read on……

The ladies race was won by Camilla Morgan of Lincsquad in a time of 25:02  Ever wondered what a normal person can do in the same amount of time?  Read on…..

Motoring in second place, Sheehan Quirke (Lincsquad) and Jane Taylor (Lincsquad) showed true grit and determination!  They took that grit and made it into pearls.  Mark Jackson (Barton Wheelers) and Fiona Fisk (Lincsquad) flew into third place with eyes like chips of ice.  Ben Creasy and Vikki Wilson (both Lincsquad) showed  steely determination to capture respective 4^th places on the night.    Into fifth place for the men, mostly using his feet and legs to pedal in a forwards motion was Thomas Palmer from Geared up and CN cycles.   In 5^th place and finishing the business end for the women and men’s 1^st to 5^th podiums was Jen Worsley of Lincsquad.

She’s one to watch and this week throwing the gauntlet down for the girls, Catherine Smart of Lincsquad claimed her 6^th place.  While for the men, 6^th place was a ride on the LQ10/2 for Kevin Wilson of Racing Team Dawson.  If you want to do well at TT racing, you must ride with courage, you have got to ride with determination, well Chris Ware  and Emma Parratt brought it home for the boys and girls respectively in 7^th place each.   Turning themselves inside out for 8^th place Matt Austin for the men and Karen Braithwaite for the lasses flew across that finish line.  Having the ride of their lives Steve Hall and Shirley Hall finished with gusto.   Shadow boxing was over for Sue Marshall and “number 4, Cheryl Orr”, they both recorded speedy times tonight.

In conclusion, gates and walls don’t apply, neither do ceilings nor any other limitation that your TT racer brain creates!  35 Racers got out there and killed it tonight!  I am proud of you all and I am here to tell you that whatever you think your potential is, it’s quadruple that…. Or even more!

The atmosphere was thick and fast as all riders came home to the paddock and the safety of the King Billy. Racers, their friends and families all loosened up, the raffle was upon them. It was time to don poker faces and get comfortable.  Kind of like heading to the sweetie shop and leaving with a Dandy Comic and a bag of Salt and Shake.  Suddenly everyone was dancing the cowboy boogie; everyone was doing the hoedown; stepping to the left and dipping with it….. taking a sip with it…. Or did I read that in the Obree training manual?  Awkward…… So the winner of the raffle prize, which tonight was, sausage, bacon and egg, ….. I’m JOKING….. the prize was a bottle of non alcoholic fizz (fun for all the famalam) and was won by Sue Marshall.   Tom Palmer won the drinks bidon! Thanks to all who donate prizes to the raffle.

Holy heckin slipping to the left, slipping to the right…. Let’s hear from the Baron!  Has anyone guessed who the baron is yet?  I’m sure you must all have a few suspicions by now!  Remember the Baron is an on the spot competition “guess who” and the winner will be awarded a prize at the end of the series…..here we go…

Baron:  “I ponder how we measure our performance.  By time.  By race position.  By effort.  By if we best our rival?  Is there a better satisfaction than that casual look up from the results and seeing the nod of approval however grudgingly given.  Consequently there is also the reverse of this.  The pain and anguish of those lost seconds, the lack of full effort on the climb.  The failure to engage top gear on the descents.  Not beating your mate”…..

Thank you Baron, for these poignant words and we look forward to hearing from you soon!

So all that remains is to thank all our marshalls for volunteering your time tonight.  Thanks to the King Billy pub for once again being the Hosts with the Mosts.  Thanks to all our riders!

Clash bang a boom!  Another report sent to the cutting room!  If you’ve enjoyed what you have read then please get in touch, leave a comment or pop on a like.  As always we love to hear from you.

Ciao, Ciao, Ciao

Pam, Jon and the TT team.