Round 10 race report and results

Woah, 2 up TT.  Tonight’s race was a change to the norm for all you Testers out there!  Add to the mix a blast of wind and a drop of rain.  Time to get the corduroy cruisers on……….

The return of the 2 up TT

Since the last TT report, JC and I have travelled over to the Motherland, N0rthre Ireland, to see family and friends as well as race our local Portglenone Sprint Triathlon, The Big Splash.  It’s a long drive up through England from TT Towers to the Port of Cairnryan.  We set off on the Friday morning, pre triathlon which was the Saturday morning, before sunrise; JC was still in his favourite Star Wars PJs and as usual, he slept for the first few hours of the drive.  I listened to the “coffee break Italian” podcast, not sure why I felt that I may need conversation Italian in Northern Ireland, but there you go.  There is a snazzy little pizza takeaway in Portglenone, so it might have been handy, however Mammy Greer ensured that we didn’t need any of that there foreign what ever you call it.   JC and I swap driving on the way up England, and when we approached the Port, Jon was driving.   The security officials ran through the standard questions of “have you packed the car yourself?  Are you carrying any hazards…What is the name of your passenger……?”  Poor old Jon looked at me and could not remember my name!  This brief lapse in memory resulted in Jon being dragged off for questioning….I had to sign a form to confirm that I was definitely not being kidnapped!  Thankfully Jon was released in time for the ferry crossing.  Suddenly I had a panic attack about getting on the boat.  Jon, bless his heart did everything he could think of to calm my nerves.  “You know that you are safer on a boat than you are racing those there savage cross races don’t you?”, he reminded me.  He gave me a loving kiss on the forehead and then muttered, “Now where did I put those travel insurance documents?”  Triathlon day was the Saturday morning and I had to do some quick thinking on my feet at breakfast.  I was texting a friend and mum happened to see that I had ended the text with “WTF”. She asked me what WTF meant…..I replied “with the family” she seemed happy with this and asked no more questions.  Post triathlon, she said that she had updated her Facebook status about the triathlon and she couldn’t believe how many likes and shares she was getting!  I asked her what she had posted……nothing special she said, “Watching Portglenone Big SplashTriathlon WTF”….

On with the results, ever wondered why the riders go off in numerical order, yet come back e.g.: 4, 5,6,1,2,3?  In charge of results, Marshall Yoda was!  It was rainy, it was gloomy, however 10 pairs of riders lit up the evening with their flying machines and ornate costumes.

First team over the finish line were Jack Skelton “Not the Dancer” and Sheehan Quirke “might be a dancer”…..  Jack showed expertise in leading, his co-pilot Sheehan wasn’t the best with navigation, but could dance the fandango if asked politely.  Id give them a 12/10 and a friendly boop at red lights if I was following them.

Rumour has it that Chris Ware lost his propeller helmet tonight, but Kevin found it so everything was ok, 13/10 guys, second place on the night and a fantasticulous result in those conditions.

I’ve heard that Ali Schofield and Shawnie Lovett of OTCF likes to play hide and seek, but only if you don’t go too far.  9.8 miles of ducking and diving on the LQ10/2 tonight proved no problem to our first and only all girl team as they were 3rd overall and 1st girl team!  Girl Power!!!!


Into 4th place, the Barton Wheeler team stormed across the line.  These 2 guys have perfected the 2 time dazzle toes dance on their bike.  Impossible to not smile at their effort tonight.  14/10 guys for your effort.

I’m not convinced that Drew Hobley fully understood the rules of 2 up TTing  He presumed that as it was a 2 up TT, that he only had to ride half the distance.  However they had to come back together!  It looked like he would kindly have accepted transport back to the King Billy if rules had allowed. Congrats to Drew and Ed, you were like tornados on that course tonight!  Very fierce on the fierceness scale, in fact I would assign you both a 15/10 on the tornado scale!

I hear that OTCF stars John and Andy racing into 6th place did a quick time because they had to get back for a  Birthday party.  Apparently there was a bouncy castle and everything!!

Romping in into 7th place were Macolm Dent and Claire Hobley.   However, they don’t need to know their place.  They know that they have first place in my heart.

Steve Cannings returned to the race scene tonight, and partnered Mark Turner.  They looked feisty and up for it out there on the course, like a swan fighting an Alsatian along a canal in Glasgow.  It kind of reminded me of a mugging that I witnessed in Limerick, and I mean the place, not the style.  “Hello my name is Pete, I’m standing in the street, don’t be rash, give me your cash or I’ll kick you in the teeth” Well done guys and Steve it was awesome to see you back like a race machine.

Rich “Have you seen my magical money making shoes” Morton and Mandy Ashton came over the finish line, and their hair styles were holding up well.

Tony and Julie England were the first married couple across the line tonight.  They looked like cuddly danger balls, adorable in their pointy hats as they rolled past the finish line.

Words cannot describe how well all the TTers did tonight, however numbers can and do.  I have never witnessed such raw, animalistic rides.  Like silver sparkly little eels, each team leaving the opposition for dead and crossing the line with gusto.

Then, it was time for the raffle.  Not many people know this, however I used to play the trumpet in our high school orchestra.   There were a few terms which I had to learn to get the best out of the old instrument.  I find it useful to remember these terms when announcing the raffle with the Horn……..

Trumpet dynamics
f Forte, (strong hoot, did anyone hear??)
mf Mega forte (hoot really really really loudly…… did anyone hear?)
p Power  (come on put the hoot in hoot, are the neighbours twitching their curtains yet? )
mp More Power (come on you great Jessie, hoot hoot hoot!)
pp Power play  (hoot to the rhythm of Country Roads, Take me home…. To the place, where I belong……..)
fp Full power  (to heck with the sweet spot, let’s hoot out “under Pressure…..”)
ppp Pressure pressure pressure (HONK, HONK, HONK!!!!!).


Winners of the raffle were, the tallest man on Earth, in fact he’s the King of Spain, Kev Wilson and the lovely John Chambers.  I’ve not forgotten about the Baron, here are his words of wisdom.

“Two up TT.

The first time I heard of this I frantically searched for a lightweight person as the only reference I had was the Icelandic Wife Carry race… in Iceland.  Once corrected however I was even more confused.  Do I sacrifice myself at the front as the noble domestique allowing my star to take up the reins at the finish and receive the plaudits from the crowd?  Or do we share the work alternating in a seamless display of through and off like a flock of migrating geese heading headfirst into the intakes of a jet plane.  Of course the correct answer is neither of these.  The Baron rides alone.  A Lone Wolf.  The Baron has his dates mixed up and also has no clean Rapha bib shorts following some recent intense turbo sessions.”  (signed on behalf of the Baron)

All that remains is to thank the King Billy for being awesome welcoming hosts.  Thanks to all the riders for making tonight so much fun, for riding safely and coming home with damp smiles and wet knickers.  Thanks to all marshalls, for volunteering your time on such a grim night weather wise.

We will see you all for the final race at the King Billy pub in a fortnight, more details to follow re this final night and sheenanigans.  Take care if you are out riding and training until we meet again.

If you like what you have read, then please leave us a comment below or pop on a like.

Ciao, Ciao, Ciao

Pam and Jon.

Name No Club Min Sec
J Skelton 9 OTCF 21 1
S Quirke 10 Lincsquad 21 1
Chris Ware 7 Lincsquad 22 17
Kev Wilson 8 Team Dawson 22 17
Ali Schofield 5 OTCF 22 57
Shawnie Lovett 6 OTCF 22 57
D Busby 17 Barton Wheelers 23 12
D Binns 18 Barton Wheelers 23 12
E Smith 13 Lincsquad 23 43
D Hobley 14 Lincsquad 23 43
J Chambers 19 OTCF 23 47
A Lakeland 20 )TCF 23 47
M Dent 15 Lincsquad 26 48
Claire Hobley 16 Lincsquad 26 48
S Cannings 11 Lincsquad 29 8
M Turner 12 Lincsquad 29 8
Rich Morton 1 Lincsquad 30 0
Mandy Ashton 2 30 0
Tony England 3 Lincsquad 32 45
Julie England 4 Lincsquad 32 45