Wind conditions: “Just blew in from the windy city, the windy city is mighty pretty”
I am currently laying immobile face down on the bed, collating a personal damage report from tonight’s 2 up TT (Lincsquad’s first ever 2 up TT). I teamed up with the Strongman Superhero from Epworth (Mr Woolgar), more of that later, first could someone please get the pizza out of the oven and feed JC? Let me wash my face, brush my teeth, artfully mess up my hair into some kind of wind swept beach babe style, look for my favourite Italy T shirt, put on a smiling sociable mask and we will get this report started….
Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts, we are ready for take off. One important thing to remember about a 2 up TT is that out there on the race course, you are on your own….just you and your team mate… Positive expectations between the 2 teammates are important for the team to succeed, because you tend to get what you expect. Tonight’s TT was a smoked salmon sandwich and spreadable cheese kind of race, pretty classy and only available in haute route areas. I wondered whether tonight’s racers would rate the 2 up TT on the same level as adding anchovies to pizza, an unnecessary and ruinous elaboration on an otherwise trustworthy format? Or would it be a winner, winner chicken dinner? In the words of Jo Burt (Road.cc January 2011) “That stretch of road has all been mended. Beautiful smooth brand new fast deep thick black tarmac. No more thunk, thunk, thunk,thunk, kerthunk, thunk, but shoosh. Just Shoooooooooooooooooooosh”. I make no apologies for quoting a MTB rider/Mint illustrator/sometimes bike racer/frequent crossracer as, in my opinion, the sentiment transposes easily across all disciplines of cycling and illustrates that feeling that we all had tonight, racing in 2s really fast on our bikes on the LQ10/2.
In a 2 up TT, the first cyclist, moving through the air, creates a turbulent wake behind him/herself. This makes vortices. The vortices make an area of low pressure behind the rider and an area of wind that moves along with the cyclist. If the second rider can ride as closely as is possible to the back wheel of the first rider, they will gain an advantage. The low pressure moves the second cyclist forward and the eddies push them forward. Two people who are drafting correctly can put out less energy than 2 individuals (who are not drafting) would, covering the same distance. The first rider gets the team up to speed and when the pre agreed speed is reached, no 2 rider rides as close to no 1’s back wheel as is possible. As the first rider moves out and the second rider becomes the leader, the speed is kept constant to make best use of the vortices created. This pull and the aero position help the racers to maintain the consistent speed for the duration of the TT.
I refuse to ask the winners post race “How does it feel?” It is tempting to ask, however JC’s mum and dad read these reports and I can see them shaking their heads and cringing at such an unimaginative question. Similarly, “How does it feel” seems to be an obnoxious question when really it is the question which would give the reader the information most desired! Personally I want to ask all these superhero racers from the TT tonight (because that is what they are in my head) exactly how it feels to “save the world” regardless of their placement on the table. No superhero trumps any other superhero in my opinion. However, for the purpose of this report, let’s start with the podium (insert winky emoji).
They maybe had it for breakfast, because they certainly knocked the snap, crackle and pop out of the competition, Bevan and Josh Jones riding for Team Sportslab charted a well-deserved first place. Second placed team were certainly not Long John Silver, as they had legs a plenty, Kev Dawson and Jack Skelton riding for Dawson Race Team sprinted for the line. Jon Challen (Lincsquad) teamed with Kevin Wilson (Dawson Race Team) and they were going like HP sauce goes on a bacon butty! A proper proper well deserved third place for these guys.
Oh my bib shorts, that completes the podium tonight, and there were some amazing teams! However, there was lots more action in the business section of the 2 up TT! Like giving Ghostbusters a new supercharged proton pack and an overnight stay in a haunted castle, our TT teams captured times which will be hard to beat in 2019. The foxes that were Gav Mann and Rick Stenton (53Eleven) definitely had their eyes on the keys to the henhouse, they cruised over the line in 4th. Meanwhile in 5th, John Chambers and Dave Jackson (Lincsquad and 53Eleven) looked like they were going to release some anger on this TT course. Dan Ellis and Matt Austin (Lincsquad) were accelerating like they had just had a full tank of petrol installed at the start line. Lincsquad’s Chris Gibbs and Matthew Coleman looked as fresh as daisies, settling for 7th place. Jim and Jen Worsley displayed valour in their race to 8th place, where did they buy those legs? Setting off in a gear that most cyclists use on the downhill, Kevin Cooper and Tony England took on the TT as they meant to continue. Chris Ware and Stephen Cannings, worked with determination, digging deep into the intestines of the course. Dave Gibbs and Jacob Riby owned the course tonight, like it was their playground. Congratulation Jacob! 1st junior on the night. Was that steam coming from Pam and Mr Woolgar’s ears? They fought hard to take 12th place. Vicky Howden and Steve Cowlbeck demonstrated what is known as burying yourself for your team mate. Our polka dot hill climbing winner Catherine Smart, showed that she is more than a one trick pony by storming over the line with teamie Paul in 14th position. They had the pain face of competition, Malcolm Dent and Simon Wilson soared against that high force wind. I could have sworn I heard Jack Johnson strumming in the wind tonight, turns out Malcolm has fixed his ukulele in an aerodynamic position on his bars and it was him I heard! Doing more than surviving Jamie Moss and Andrew Calpin definitely put on a show of strength. Plenty of communication between Tori and Nigel Smaller as they pushed into 17th place. Watching Debbie Frary and Jason Frary was like watching cocker spaniels chase pieces of silver paper in the wind, they were zooming on their bikes tonight, their changes on the pull impeccable. Congrats guys! Doing it for the girls, Shirley Hall and Becky Hollis 2nd all female team on the night. Finishing off the leaders board, Katie and Darren rounded off a fantastic night of racing.
Let’s be clear about one fact, this was not my first rodeo, and it certainly wasn’t my teammate’s first rodeo either. Mr Woolgar has chalked up top 10 placings in triathlon, while I ride and race my road bike a fair bit, my cross bike a bit more. To be fair, I also spend quite a lot of time agonising over whether my socks match my bar tape, or whether my helmet matches my bike. However, I digress……Was this pairing to be a partnership forged in the mythical fires of Scawby Brook? Or was it an idea fuelled by 3 pints of lager, a packet of crisps and 3 over enthusiastic giggling lads post TT on the 1/8/18 in the King Billy? Answers on a postcard please! I can describe our 2 up TT as…. whoa…. whoaaaa….. whoaaawhoaawhoaaaaaa……. hang on……. I’m dying……. oh crumbs it’s the roundabout, no time to die, will die later when I get time, keep her lit…….. WHOAAAAAAAAAA……. I’m on……… Whoaaaaaaa……….. ohcrumbsnowwehavetosprintforheLINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE………… My teammate was a little more reflective about tonight’s race.
Me: “why did we not win?”
Mr W: “the other teams went fasterer”
Mr W: “WE…. didn’t practise enough”
Me: “I guess we will never know”
Mr W: “OMG”
That race was the kind where the last few miles home made a TT overlord’s thoughts turn idly towards e-bikes…whrrrrrrr, whrrrrrrr, pedalpedalpedal, whrrrrrrr. However, Mr Woolgar and I both agreed that partnering up in a 2 up TT was preferable to nailing jelly onto the walls of a working wind tunnel while it is turned to top speed….
With all riders back safely, the drums drummed loud, children stopped play, footballs stayed where they were kicked, trains came to a standstill, pints that were being pulled stilled in mid pour. The atmosphere was similar to being at a cross between Cleethorpes Beer Festival and Tesco when the pork pies come on offer. A peacock peacocked across the road, Malcolm put his ukulele down…It was time to draw the raffle!!! Double pink feather flamingoes, the winner of 2 drinks bottles with gels and tablets (kindly donated by Jon Challen) was won by Vicky Howden! Congrats Vicky!!
Thanks as always to our marshalls, you did sterling jobs holderuppering and railway crossering and roundarounabouting!!! Not to mention our super professional timekeeping team. Is there any truth in the rumour that Team Sky are attempting to poach them for upcoming timekeeping duties? Thanks as always for your camera witchery and sorting out the monies Team Walsh. Thanks Wayne, your help is always gratefully received. Final thanks to our ever welcoming hosts The King Billy pub.
Hang on JC, put down that game of Tetris! Crumbling pineapple creams, get the tortoise down from the neighbour’s shed roof! I hear the next round is the last in the series? In the words of the great E C Cochran. “Early to bed, early to rise, no jolly good if you don’t advertise!” Round 11 is “for your fries only”, “the chips are down”, “freechipattheKingBillyPubafterround11”, “shall we skip the TT and go straight to the chips?” Yip you have read that right, free chips for TTers after round 11 in the King Billy pub. You’ve got to enter the race to earn the free chips though. There also will be a short presentation of a memento for all the riders who have completed the series (completing 6 rounds and marshalling 1 round) and our wonderful timekeepers. If you have an item that you would like to donate to the raffle, please bring it along, you know the kind of thing, a helmet, bike shoes, gloves…..well it’s the last race of the TT season, you can buy all new stuff for next year!
And there’s more ……………………………………………….. (Jimmy Cricket, c1985). As we all know (hopefully) we’ve been competing week after week for bragging rights in the mens/ladies, gold/silver leagues, based on points awarded for positions across the line. However, what we can’t forget is that in its purest form time trialling is a contest between rider and the clock. In recognition of this fact our amazing friends at the King Billy Pub have donated 2 trophies (one for the men and one for the ladies) for the fastest individual time set by a Lincsquadder on the LQ10/2 course this series, to be awarded after the chip butties have been demolished. So, on that basis it’s all to play for on the last round.
Son of a Gun, we are almost done! Who fancies a jam buttie? I’m going to make aeroplanes from the paper that I’ve scribbled ideas and themes (the outtakes) from these reports on. While I do that, if you have enjoyed reading the report then please leave a thumbs up, and/or leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.
|1||Bevan Jones and Josh Jones||Team Sportslab||21 +22||19:38|
|2||Kev Dawson and Jack Skelton||Dawson Racing Team||37+38||20:44|
|3||Kevin Wilson and Jon Challen||Dawson RT and Lincsquad||39+40||22:41|
|4||Gav Mann and Rick Stenton||53Eleven||19+20||22:42|
|5||John Chambers and Dave Jackson||Lincsquad and 53Eleven||17+18||23:32|
|6||Dan Ellis and Matt Austin||Lincsquad||9+10||23:36|
|7||Chris Gibbs and Matthew Coleman||Lincsquad||27+28||25:06|
|8||Jim Worsley and Jen Worsley||Lincsquad||35+36||25:44|
|9||Kevin Cooper and Tony England||Lincsquad||3+4||26:00|
|10||Chris Ware and Steve Cannings||Team Nostalgia||7+8||26:04|
|11||Dave Gibbs and Jacob Riby||Lincsquad||13+14||26:25|
|12||Pam Challen and Philip Woolgar||Lincsquad and Dawson RT||41+42||26:33|
|13||Vicky Howden and Steve Coulbeck||Lincsquad and VTTA||11+12||26:36|
|14||Catherine Smart and Paul Smart||Lincsquad||33+34||26:59|
|15||Malcolm Dent and Simon Wilson||Lincsquad||23+24||27:06|
|16||Jamie Moss and Andrew Calpin||Lincsquad||29+30||27:38|
|17||Tori and Nigel Smaller||Lincsquad||31+32||28:05|
|18||Barbara Odling and Sandra Colman||Alford Wheelers||25+26||29:52|
|19||Debbie Frary and Jason Frary||Scun tri||15+16||30:11|
|20||Shirley Hall and Becky Hollis||Lincsquad||5+6||32:30|
|21||Katie Scutt and Darren Scutt||Lincsquad||1+2||34:41|